The Angry Female

Living with depression even while I have a good life.

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I have lived with depression for as long as I can remember.  I am twenty-four, and I have heard people say, you are young, you have not lived your life yet.  Unfortunately, what many fail to understand is that me being depressed has not been a choice if I had an opportunity I would never get depressed. 

Do I have a hard life? No!  Did I grow up in a two family home? Yes. I have a chemical imbalance, which many have said, does not exist. Of course, it does! Every time my depression begins, it is as if the sun is out and a rain cloud appears, then it starts to rain. The rain may last an hour, a day or even a week. Suddenly the rain turns into a drizzle and slowly the sun appears again. It happens the same way each time. It is as if I can feel it in my body and the best comparison to it is the weather. It occurs on the happiest days, that is how I knew it was not left up to me. It was my body, my chemicals. 

I have however learned how to cope, to have hope.  
When I feel that storm coming I use to pull away and hide; now, I have found a way to get out and deal with it.  I have started to share.  I open up and share my pain with those who love me unconditionally as well as those whom I do not know. Am I cured? No!  I am surviving and if I can, so can you!  At times it is a struggle to open up, and there are still times I cannot even talk. However, I never stop trying.  

I have chosen to remain anonymous not because I am ashamed but because I want others to feel ok with sharing. To not feel pressured to bear it all but to at least share the burden and seek motivation. 

Today was a good day, why? I shared my story with 'The Girlloop." I am not alone, and neither are you.