Imagine being lost in despair, believing there is no way out of a dark, cold room, and your loved ones do not know you are there. You believe that everyone who does know, put you there. That their intention is to make you miserable and submissive to their every demand and make you believe everything they tell you.
Now envision that your captors are all IN YOUR HEAD -- it is your thoughts which torture you with negativity, hopelessness, and an endless loop spiraling downward. Sound impossible to get from this horrible situation to happiness? Well, it is POSSIBLE. It is, however, a process that must be learned and continuously practiced.
Try these three steps towards happiness:
THINK; FEEL; TRANSFORM.
From the lowest point in your life, you may NOT be able to make that magical quantum leap to pink clouds and rainbows. However, you can hit the "pause button" in your mind and take the smallest turn towards the light -- and then keep reaching for relief, taking the edge off the pain, and taking baby steps in the right direction.
1. THINK "transformation" and decide that it is for you. It requires faith that change is possible, and that you can do it, even if you have no idea HOW. It is necessary for you to be willing to do whatever it takes to learn from anyone, at anytime, anywhere.
- Remember that "trans" means "to move." It requires leaving point A to get to point B. "Form" means "the shape of something" -- in this case, the shape of your life. You will shape-shift your life to something new, something better, something of your design. It cannot and will not happen before you decide you want it.
- It is essential that you start shifting and THINKING in a new direction that sets off a unique biochemical cascade throughout your body that is the physical and creates a chemical representation of your thoughts. Ask yourself: "What IF?" Moreover, "why NOT?"
- Fantasize an alternate reality. These perceptions are far stronger than you may realize. Your thoughts create electromagnetic waves throughout your body, a kind of human Wi-Fi system, that resonate with and trigger the creation of chemical threads custom-built to represent your mind on a chemical level.
- This chemical bath then starts new neural, physical, pathways in your brain which, like train tracks, will later support the locomotive of bigger, more powerful thoughts carrying action plans and creative ideas for solutions. It is the chemical beginning of a habit. (For more information about this, meet one of my favorite people, Dr. Candace Pert.)
2. FEEL hopeful, expanded, and creative. Sit down and take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Now, as taught by the ancient masters of Tibet, gently roll your eyes up in your head with your eyelids still closed. Think the phrase, "I do not know how I am happy. I only know that I am happy now, and I am grateful."
- While this is not a typical affirmation, this exercise is a method of re-programming your entire body and mind to shift into a new life. You will begin to FEEL the authenticity of your desired reality. Articulate these phrases simply with present tense verbs, always in the positive sense. Avoid negative phrases or thoughts.
- Focus on breathing deeply and slowly, holding your eyes upward with your eyelids downward, thinking (never speaking) this and whatever similar phrases naturally flow.
- Some mental-shift thoughts: "I do not know how I feel hopeful, I only know I feel hopeful, and I am relieved." For someone feeling angry at a partner: "I am not sure how I have a peaceful, loving relationship with my spouse. I only know I have it now and I am fulfilled." "I am not sure how I forgave her; I only know I forgive her and feel peaceful now." "I am not sure how I fall asleep now and wake up in the morning feeling rested and happy. I only know I fall asleep now and I am grateful for a good night's sleep."
- Gently relax your eyes, keeping them closed, and let your stated desires grow spontaneously. You will be in a relaxed state that is perfect for an "aha!" moment. Wait for it. Be patient. It may take a few sessions before you get a jolt. Until then, just enjoy the biochemical shift you have given yourself.
- You will feel it. When ready, gently come back to your physical surroundings. This meditation is an excellent way to touch the "pause button" when you are feeling stressed, then step back and remind yourself what is important to you. (For an in-depth discussion of this technique, check out an amazing author, Asara Lovejoy, who wrote "The One Command".)
3. TRANSFORM. Even though you may not feel anything radically different immediately, there are already changes taking place at the deepest levels of who you are. Baby steps are necessary here.
- If you do not know what first big step to take to be happy, it does not matter. Merely reading this article, even if you do not try the meditation, counts as a baby step toward your more comfortable life.
We encourage you to read some great books referred to in this article and try out the Tibetan forms of meditation to help transform the mind. Use these tools and techniques to help shift your mindset and create new railroad tracks for new thoughts that ultimately support your steps toward happiness.
To learn more about how to use baby steps to upgrade your life, meet the amazing Robert Maurer.
There is always hope for escape from your tormenting thoughts.