How do I avoid Date rape?

What is Date Rape?

Date rape is when someone you know socially forces you to have sex when you do not want to. It could be someone you met at a party, school, neighbor or someone your trust, such as a boyfriend. Whether it is by verbal or physical threats, blackmail, drugs or alcohol, a rapist will use whatever means necessary to force or trick you into having sex.

When you hear the word “rape” what comes to mind? Am I betting it is a stranger coming out of the bushes and attacking right? Wrong! Strangers are not the only ones who rape. According to reports, more than half of the rape victims know the person who attacked them. We are not saying all friends or acquaintances will end up in rape, but unfortunately, it does happen more than we would like. Remember, whether the two people know each other well or have had sex before, rape is rape now matter how you slice it. If you say the word “NO” and that person continues to have intercourse without your consent, that is “Rape.” It has nothing to do with love, sex or passion, rape is an act of aggression and violence. For them, it is the ultimate control. Always keep in mind that sex is not the only way to show someone you care about or love them, and sex is not meant to be one-sided, this is an act that both of you should want.  

So to help you navigate the waters, we have put together a list of preventive measures to help you avoid being date raped. We are not saying we have all the answers, because, at the end of the day, every situation is different, by knowing this pertinent information it just might help to keep you safe.

How to stay safe?

  • When out, try not to become intoxicated in public or at parties, also keep to a 1-2 drink limit. Remember that alcohol decreases your awareness.  
  • Always, always keep your eye on your drink. Keep it with you always including those restroom visits. Date rape drugs such as roofies, GHB, and ketamine are easily mixed into drinks when you are not looking.
  • If someone offers to buy you a drink go with them to the bar, never allow them to go alone. If you are with them, there is no chance of them slipping you anything. 
  • Avoid giving out personal information such as your location or your daily schedule online.
  • Don’t let new acquaintances know that you are alone at an event or that you live by yourself.
  • Communicate your sexual and relationship boundaries. Don’t assume someone will know what you are thinking. They cannot read your mind.
  • When meeting for the first time, try a public place and don’t allow them to come to your home until you have known them for some time.
  • If you feel uncomfortable during a date, don’t be afraid to leave. Always have money for a cab just in case.
  • Avoid secluded areas with your date until you have known them for some time.
  • Try going on double dates until you feel comfortable being alone with your boyfriend/girlfriend.
  • Always let someone know whom you are going out with and what your itinerary is.
  • Never be alone with people who ignore your boundaries. Those are the people who will not take “no” for an answer.
  • No one should ever make you feel obligated to have sex only because he or she paid for your drink or dinner.
  • If you are not comfortable with your surroundings, don’t be afraid to leave. Follow your instinct.
  • Watch out for each other when out with friends. Check in with each other during the event. If one of you is going to leave with someone, be sure to let your friends know before you leave. 
  • Hang out with friends that you trust; they will make sure you are safe at all times. 

We certainly hope the information above will help you avoid a bad situation in the future.