Am I too old to feel tired of working the typical 9-5 and wanting to spread my wings and fly? I am now 35, and I have had dreams, but I am afraid to take that leap.
In these times of social media where images mold perceptions, it is no wonder my thoughts wander. I see people online always making fun of those who are "older" yet still trying to make it in the rap game or comment on individuals who are still trying to become artists or dancers or even models well after their younger years. Fear of exiting my comfort zone, I feel compelled to keep my career even though I have been unhappy for years and dream of pursuing my desire of acting. To gain support, I spoke to my mom about it, and as luck would have it, she did not see the point of pursuing a new career in acting. In fact, my mom does not see the point in entrepreneurial ventures overall.
My mom is from the old-school and believes in working for a company and then retiring once you put in your time. Unfortunately, I cannot seem to shake these emotions and continue to dream of a more fulfilling path. Because I have not made any strategic moves, my hopes to change career directions continue to become a burning desire, and I am growing depressed in regards to my life. Thankfully, my thoughts are not suicidal thoughts but depressed in the way of wanting so much more than punching a clock.
Occasionally, I feel discouraged when I see those who are executing their passions, who are willing to sacrifice (shop less so they can pursue their ultimate dreams) and think why I have not done the same. Years ago, even though I had this passion in my heart, shopping and having a nice car was all that was important to me. I am getting closer to change. Now, I do not feel that way. A steady paycheck does not give me a burning desire. I admire those who are taking chances. I honestly wish people would stop talking down about people who are pushing towards their dreams. I feel they are bold and risk takers and have such respect for them. So I sit with these thoughts, how do I do it, where do I start? How do I give up my 9-5 to pursue my heart? My confidence level is weak at work, but I feel secure in my heart for my dream.
Header image by Stil Classics